Take what you will from them and hopefully you laugh.



Note to self



· Never Die Alone

· If you're going to Die Take as many people with you as possible.

· Buying someone a drink is five times better than giving someone a handshake.

· but 5 times the dent in your wallet

· Whatever you do, never, EVER, accept a drink from an ugly chick. 90% of the time it will have drugs in it

· Buy a hooker for your enemy, make sure to get her from the darkest ally in New York on a full moon, if she has a 5 o' clock shadow she's even better for him

· If someone tells you "Go take a bath and don't forget the toaster" they dont like you

· Do not snowboard without pants…. Flapping objects may increase wind resistance and slow you down.

· Nutts to rail is not a good way to end a grind.

· Reprint the rules of party- add in more punishments- make people sign in blood.

· Wii remote controls can result in eyeloss and/or concussions. Further results may vary.

· Karma will Fuck you up

· Blowjobs may lead to car accidents